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Waxed Back

Self Shaving Your Back / December 21, 2022

The latest salvo in the tough fight between Charlie Crist and Marco Rubio for the Republican Senate nomination in Florida has a distinctly sunshine-state twist: On Fox News last night, Crist claimed Rubio may have used Republican Party of Florida funds to get himself a "back wax."

"He's trying to pawn himself off as a fiscal conservative, " Crist said of Rubio. "And yet just in reason weeks, two weeks ago it has come out in news accounts he had a Republican Party of Florida credit card that he charged $130 haircut, or maybe it was a back wax - we are not sure what all he got at that place."

Van Susteren asked for clarity: "A back wax? Wait a second."

"I don't know what it was, you know?" Crist said. He added: "Initially we were told it was a haircut. And then he said it wasn't a haircut. Then he had the gall to go on Neil Cavuto's show and said it was his money. It was a credit card from the Republican Party. It was party donors' money."

Crist went on to contrast the cost of his haircut - "$11 from a guy named Carl the Barber" - to the $130 that Rubio allegedly paid for his haircut/back wax. "To me that's real fiscal conservatism, " said Crist. (One can only imagine what Crist would have to say about John Edwards' $400 haircuts.)

Crist, the Florida governor, had been expected to coast to the Senate nomination, but Tea Party favorite Rubio caught him in the polls thanks in large part to claims that he is the real conservative in the race. Crist, who has been derided by some of the right as a "Republican in Name Only" for his support of the stimulus package and literal embrace of President Obama a year ago, is now aggressively casting himself as the true conservative, repeatedly invoking Ronald Reagan and attacking Rubio for his record in the Florida House of Representatives.